I only had one job to do: pee in a cup.
Considering I had been running to the bathroom every two seconds, I figured this standard doctor’s office procedure would be a breeze now that I was pregnant. No need to chug water or hold off on bathroom breaks this time! Woohoo! I even stopped in the bathroom before I left because I figured I’d have to go again by the time I got to my appointment.
Apparently I was wrong. The 10-minute walk from my office was not enough time…
When I arrived they handed me the cup and pointed me to the restroom, but I didn’t have the slightest urge to go. Like, at all. I waited and waited, sitting on the toilet, but still nothing. Panic started setting in. What am I going to do?! I stared at the sink. Should I drink water from the sink? Is that gross?
I waited some more. I could hear the nurses on the other side of the wall opening and closing the little door to retrieve the sample — only to keep finding the box empty. Ahhhhhh! This is horrible!
My heart was pounding. Finally I went for the sink water, slurping up as much as could fit in my cupped hands. But still, nothing. And again, the little door opened and closed — with no sample inside. How am I going to be a mom if I can’t even pee in a cup?! What time is it?! HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN IN HERE?!?!?
I could bear it no longer. I gave up. I did a walk of shame back up to the receptionist, trying to hide the empty cup in my coat, and asked her if I could have a glass of water. As she went to get one for me, the nurse called me. It was time for my appointment. Luckily the receptionist found me walking down the hall to my room and passed along the water. I drank it as fast as possible as the nurse was talking to me, and continued to do so as she took my blood pressure.
No surprise, it was high. “Is it normally high?” she asked me.
“No,” I said, holding back what was likely the explanation. You see, I’ve been trying to go to the bathroom but I can’t. It’s quite nerve-wracking.
Unfortunately I had to explain it anyway. There was nothing left for her to do after taking my blood pressure. I was hoping I could see the doctor first and then they could circle back to me for the sample. But I guess that’s not how they do it.
“Well, you’re here to confirm your pregnancy and that’s how we confirm a pregnancy,” the nurse told me. There was no way around it. She sent me back in to the dreaded room.
This time I was equipped with a small styrofoam cup (too small!) so I went straight to the sink to fill it up. I chugged another glass — this time not even questioning whether drinking the sink water was gross.
Somehow I managed to go the teeniest, tiniest amount you could imagine. But at this point, I figured they’ll have to take what they can get. I threw it in that stupid little box and ran the heck out of there.
After I left, I immediately texted Justin: “that doctor’s apt was SUPER embarassing“. I imagine this whole pregnancy thing is going to get A LOT harder than peeing in a cup!
And, of course, on the 10-min walk back to work, I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I had to make a pit stop at Corner Bakery….figures!